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How to Bake a Shade Cake

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People using screen readers may not be able to fully view information in this file. The content for this video is: BenDeLaCreme stands in front of a backdrop depicting a brightly-colored kitchen. BENDELACREME: Hello, treasures, and welcome to the Home Ec portion of "Lessons in Flawless,” your guide to becoming your best you. Starring me, BenDeLaCreme. A picture of a cake being decorated appears on a pastel background next to white text. ON SCREEN TEXT: ON SCREEN TEXT: ON SCREEN TEXT: HOME EC PRESENTED BY BenDeLaCreme Lesson 1: HOW TO BAKE A SHADE CAKE Lessons in FLAWLESS BenDeLaCreme, now wearing a pink apron, stands in front of a backdrop depicting a brightly-colored kitchen. BENDELACREME: Over the next four weeks, I'll be serving up some Home Ec realness, starting with today's lesson: How To Bake A Shade Cake. As you all know, I'm a queen that keeps it tasteful and never shady, except for sometimes. But when serious shade is required, take all of that venom coursing through your veins and just bake it into a nice, neat, little cake. BenDeLaCreme stands next to a table containing a mixing bowl and cake-baking ingredients. She picks up each ingredient as she names it and adds it to the bowl. BENDELACREME: First, you'll need just a dash of thinking that you're better than everyone else. Then, you'll need two large eggs, and half a cup of crushed dreams. Next, we add the more unsavory flavors. You know, the ones that really put the icing on the shade cake. She holds up a mannequin hand and uses it as a spoon to stir the contents of her mixing bowl. BENDELACREME: Today, I'm using yellow nails, courtesy of smoking. But we'll talk more about that later. And fold it all in gently. She licks the mannequin hand as though tasting the batter, but gags and drops it back into the bowl. BenDeLaCreme sets the bowl down and the scene transitions to reveal a finished cake topped with strawberries and cream. BENDELACREME: Bake to a crisp and voila! A shade cake. She sniffs the cake in an exaggerated manner. BENDELACREME: Mm, that smells shady. And now it's time to put that shade cake exactly where it belongs. She picks up the lid of an unseen trash can and dramatically tosses the cake into the receptacle before dusting off her hands. BenDeLaCreme stands in front of the backdrop once more. BENDELACREME: Remember, you don't know what that girl is going through. Lashing out is almost always a call for help, so don't be shady, be a lady. And that's how you bake a shade cake. Tune in next time for my next lesson: How To Spill Tea Properly. Ta-ta, treasures! BenDeLaCreme vanishes in a cloud of sparkles. A purple photograph of BenDeLaCreme stands next to colorful text against a pastel background. ON SCREEN TEXT: ON SCREEN TEXT: ON SCREEN TEXT: LESSON COMPLETE SEE YOU NEXT TIME, SUGAR Now it's time to test your knowledge. Take the flawless quiz. ThisFreeLife.Gov/Lessons Lessons in FLAWLESS QUEERTY For any more help, please email tobaccocampaigns@fda.hhs.gov